A New Year - Of Seasons and Stories

I have been reflecting on the New Year for a few months now. You see, last year was a terrible year for me and my family. In February I lost a grandmother and my sister four months later. There were a few other people that passed who I knew from my old church and my current church family, and by November I had attended or participated in four memorial services. So as the end of the year approached, my first reaction was to gladly bid farewell and good riddance to 2011.

But as I thought more and more, I realized it's not that simple. Sure, last year was marked by tragedy, but I have had some very positive experiences as well. And while some years are better or worse than others, just changing one number in the date doesn't necessarily result in any meaningful or lasting change, or that bad things won't happen. So as I look back, it occurs to me that in life we go through seasons, some full of joy, some full of sadness or disappointment, but often a little of each.

And we're all in the same boat. Though we all find ourselves looking at someone else's life from time to time thinking they have it all together or are better off, we usually don't know the whole story. One thing that I learned this year is that you don't always know what people are going through, so I am more inclined to extend people a little grace than perhaps I did before. Rather than simply mutter "Jerk!" (or worse) under your breath, consider that it may literally be the worst day of that person's life. We live in a fallen world, and bad things happen to good people. And often many bad things come at once.

So I look back and consider my story and some seasons I've experienced as an adult. 2001 was full of promise and ambition as I started college. A few years later, I spent a year away from school trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life realizing the path I had chosen wasn't quite what God had planned. Like rebellious Jonah in the belly of a great fish, I wrestled with what my calling was and even struggled with depression. Thankfully I got back on the right path, finished my degree, and despite still not having a clue what I wanted to do after graduation, God had prepared the perfect opportunity for me. By the summer of 2006, I had a great job in a good company making a nice income. The next year I bought my first new car and by February 2008 I was a homeowner. Everything was going great. Well, then the economy took a nosedive, and things became more stressful at work eventually leading to a major reorganization and even worse stress. A major project I was responsible for nearly fell apart, and in 2009 with business being down, I took a major pay cut. With economic and business pressures, I was under seemingly constant stress and working as hard as I could to do my part to help turn things around despite the challenges. In the past year, things have improved dramatically with my work thankfully, but then my personal life was turned upside down most notably due to the loss of my sister.

While the months to follow were painful, I found comfort in some amazing experiences with some very special people. And out of everything I feel I have grown and changed. I've experienced loss and heartache but also joy and great fun; things that came together perfectly and others that didn't quite work out. I've learned to have more fun, to not take myself too seriously, and to be more outgoing. I'm more active than ever before, having biked almost 900 miles, run two 5k's, and I've even joined a gym. I also don't get angry or frustrated so quickly and have learned to take things more in stride. And I continue to seek out new experiences whether learning a new instrument or jumping off a 108 story building. Granted, much of this is perhaps trying to mask or otherwise cope with the pain of loss, but at least there is some positive change and hopefully more to come.

You see I don't need new year's resolutions this year because life change was forced on me. Although I'm trying to make the most of it, and I feel much of it is part of my sister's legacy. While I pray another season like 2006-2008 comes along, I realize that it can't be that way all the time. On the other hand, I do still have much to be thankful for. While I've had stress with work, unlike millions of folks I still have a job that pays the bills and leaves enough left over for fun and savings. I'm still making music and finding new avenues and opportunities there. And most importantly I still have loving family, friends, and an affirming faith which I can lean on whatever the season. In this article's title I reference a well-known passage from Ecclesiastes which reminds us of this:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: ... a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;...a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I'll leave you with one final thought to reinforce the idea of seasons and story. The following video was produced by Chik-fil-a to demonstrate their approach to customer service. It goes well beyond customer satisfaction, and I personally find it very moving. I've shared part of my story, not to be complacent or to be felt sorry for, but in humility to show that we each have our own story, our own weaknesses, challenges, times of joy, and times of sorrow.